Folks, there are 5 designers left, Christopher is the only male remaining, and Fashion Week is at everyone’s fingertips. But what a mostly blah season it’s been! While there was some real talent to be found in the workroom, teeth needed to be pulled to get anything remotely exciting and WOW from the designers, plus the challenges were sooo uninspired. Heidi was snappier and more aloof this season, and therefore more unbearable, maybe because most of the celebrity judges she hired were useless, and some even embarrassing (Lindsay who?). But the most frustrating part of the season was without a doubt the constant turnstile of judges which made for very inconsistent and irrational judging decisions about designers whose work they were barely familiar with (hence why Christopher is till hanging around). Aaaaaand that little part about an absentee Michael Kors and Nina Garcia who ARE the soul of Project Runway’s judging. Where the heck were they when we needed them the most ? Oh right, in NY. Don’t get me started…..
Anyways, for their new and final challenge the designers are off to meet Tim at the Getty Center, the heart of Los Angeles culture. Let me point out, as delicately as possible, that this is no Metropolitan Museum of Art! By the way did anyone notice Tim’s voice becoming super shaky with nerves as he introduces LA’s mayor Antonio Villaraigosa to the designers? I digress. The designers are informed that they will use the entire Getty center as inspiration for their final look. For example Christopher is inspired by the rock fountain covered in little bits of algae, while Gordana loves Monet’s ‘Façade of Rouen Cathedral’ painting which drearily reminds her of home. Carol Hannah loves the very ornate look of French silk draped bedding ca.1700’s, and Althea can’t get enough of the surrounding architecture. Back in the workroom tensions are extra high as Irina is out for blood, Althea being first on her hit list. Tim encourages (begs) everyone to think big and take risks! although his pleas fall on deaf ears as evidenced by critique time. Tim first takes a peek at Christopher’s sedimentary-inspired design and sees stalagtites. I just see ugly so far. Meanwhile I’m wondering about Irina’s fur fetish as she once again purchases yards of furry stuff (this time it’s rabbit) for her final look. Tim thinks it’s looking like road kill, and Irina wisely scraps the idea later on. However I’m more concerned that her dress is looking like an unflattering 6-point tent.
Christopher convinces Tim it isn't going to be ugly
Moving on, Althea chose some troublesome fabric for her look and according to Tim its “a panel of puckering,” but the construction is so intricate. Hope the judges agree. In a flurry of tears an ever emotional Gordana confides in Tim just how much she loves her Monet inspiration because it reminds her of home (it’s grey, her favorite color), but Tim is still impressed with her gown, and that’s what counts….It’s finally runway time and Heidi announces that only 3 designers will be going to Fashion Week, and I’m telling you now if Gordana and Christopher are not OUT then I quit! I have to say this week’s collection of final looks is the most uninspired, unexciting, and uncreative I’ve seen the entire season, and that ain’t saying a whole lot. In one word: LAME. A few more concerns I have before runway time: 1. Why is 80's model Cindy Crawford a judge ? 2. Designer judge Cynthia Rowley is so stiff she looks like she fell into a vat of botox 3. I just CANNOT believe Michael Kors didn’t get on a private plane from NY to judge the final looks. What the ?????
Coming down the runway, Althea’s sewn-pleated skirt (although complicated looking) and sheer tank top is a major let down, and Heidi eloquently calls it a “mess fest.” Next up is Irina’s unflattering tent dress which looks like something I wore in 1987, although mine was red with a large flower print. Judge Cindy is more concerned that the shoes Irina’s model is wearing look too clunky for the pretty pale dress. Very insightful. As the seeming heir of Slytherin House, Nina is particularly prickly this week (maybe because she’s wishing she was back in NY) as she speaks about Gordana’s cathedral-inspired dress in Parsel tongue, saying it’s pretty from the front but not pretty from the back. Moving on, Carol Hannah’s gold silk gown simply reminds me of David's Bridal, and looks nothing like ornate bed drapes as she veers far far away from her French inspiration. However the judges think it's the most impressive of the bunch, and again, that’s not saying much. Meanwhile Christopher, how is it possible you've created another monster! The awful stiff paper-doll dress with Cinderella-esque V-shaped waist bib and bar wench boob blouse successfully looks as dull and uninspired as a couple of rocks. When Heidi asks Christopher if he’s confident with his final design he literally transforms into the rock fountain and bursts into a never-ending pool of tears, while explaining that this very ambitious dress encompasses exactly who he is. Someone get this guy a pack of Kleenex please…
I hate when Heidi asks the designers to name who they think should go to Fashion Week, it’s just so awkward and Heidi clearly enjoys the cruelty of it all.
Well the judges deliberated, and this week it turns out justice does exist as a shocked Christopher and sullen-looking Gordana are finally OUT. Phew. Need I say more ?....
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this season, and make sure to stay tuned for next week’s exciting run up to Fashion Week when Tim makes some house calls !.....
Photos courtesy of mylifetime.com