my friend soulmate that is......
"I hate my job! I do NOT want to go to work!"...these things I would think every time I had to head into work. I would have a small anxiety start to build when I knew work was just hours away! This was long before I would spend 16 hour days on set doing make-up and more like working til' 3am as a waitress, cocktail waitress, or bartender...at a BBQ place, where I would leave smelling of coleslaw and hickory smoke, cigarette smoke...and BBQ sauce...mmmm!
I would have blank paper in my check presenter (The black little vinyl thing they set at your table with your bill inside!)...and I would jot down my business ideas...at the time it was for an online "vintage clothing and treasure website", that I affectionately named, "Trixie's Trailer Trash", I thought it was a funny play on words and had nice alliteration ha ha ha...(in my free time, I used to scour thrift stores, garage sales, and antique stores to collect clothes, trinkets, jewelry, ash trays (I've never smoked but love some 60' ashtrays), men's ties, anything from the 30's, 40's, 50's or 60's, tiki cups, clocks, tea cups, anything! Trixie's never took off, but did dreamily distract me when herds of BBQ lovin' folks filled up the tree-trunk bench seats on the hot patio where I would bake in the afternoon sun.
The best thing about that job, even better than the guy that would come in and tip me the same amount as his bill, was meeting one of my most treasured friends in the whole world and fellow-BBQ-smelling-co-worker...
this is my friend, Tamara...
she is delightful, creative, she is like joy in human form...she does things like, decorate my porch in a garland of colorful handkerchiefs when I am gone, and I return home to find a glass jar full of glitter which she has attached a piece of paper with instructions to throw handfuls of glitter in the air! Take heart if you hate your job....something special may come out of it - like meeting an amazing person like I did, heck, maybe you'll even meet your soul mate!
we would do things at work, like speaking in different accents to see which would make us more tips (ha ha ha) : southern accents earned big! She lives in Seattle now, and to know she was going to be a part of helping with my GLAMINAR there, was such a joy to my heart! And she took us to get the best ice cream I've ever had, Salted Caramel ice cream at Molly Moon's....I dream of this ice cream!
k
her laugh is like a song form heaven to my ears, she brings my heart to a place where I know she understands mine...we both shared our disgust for the restaurant we worked in...she has been with me through some heartbreaking times in my life. She IS like glitter in the air, life just feels enchanted...and I know that wherever she lives...it is probably filled with colorful little treasures and the most creatively decorated choices, like peeking in the window of Anthropologie ~ I know wherever she is is the most creatively, unique collection of adornments and decorations! She needs a show like a modern and cool Martha Stewart!
She twinkles....her heart shines with love...and she feels like a shooting star to me~you never see the shooting star as long as you wish you could!
I don't have many friends in my day to day life. I've always been kind of an independent, lone wolf. And sometimes have felt so out of place, and so does my sweet Tamara...you may be just like us too! Neither one of us likes talking on the phone, we've always felt weird for not fitting into what society sees as "normal", neither one of us likes the idea of 9-5 jobs, signing rental contracts for a year or anything that requires a claustrophobic feeling of inescapable commitment (ha ha ha) and we've both been told by someone close to us that we need to get a real job and all that bla bla bla....I love her and I hope everyone has a precious Tamara like person in their lives...that does things like buy them handmade cinnamon and sugar shakers so that my little ones will say, "mama let's use our special cinnamon and sugar shaker on our toast! I love the small little fancy things we can celebrate in our lives....and Tamara is a kindred spirit....that twirls into my life and leaves a trail of joy and glitter.
I pray that I can leave a trail of joy and glitter in your day, path and life....
written with handfuls of glitter in my heart...i hope your day sparkled after reading this....your kandee
Letter to you:
To my Tamara....tears are swelling in my eyes as I type this: you are such a huge gift from Heaven above to me! I am so honored and thankful to have a friend like you. You have been with me, in spirit or in person, to hold my hand and my heart when everything felt like it was falling apart...(you see into my heart what I am feeling, like no one ever has before) I love you beyond human words and I can't even begin to express the joy in my heart for having a friend so like me and all my "weirdness"...thank you for taking that crappy job and Red's! You are glitter in my heart, not just my hand...I wish you could "hear" the tears falling down my face right now...I think they speak louder than any words I can type. I try not to be envious of the people that get to be around you...because I wish it was me, laughing with you, twirling, and "so on and so forth".....hee hee hee
I love you the size of the sky...and so on and so forth. your kandee