To:
Her Majesty's Divorce Courts Service For Bags
11 Happy Road, 1 Singlehood Lane,
Free Once Again Building,
SG 1010101
APPLICATION FOR DIVORCE FROM LOUIS VUITTON NEVERFULL
I, Kevin aka myMANybags would like to apply for permanent separation from my newly 'wedded' Louis Vuitton Neverfull Bag. It seems our very recent matrimony is shortlived and we are not living happily everafter. I find that Ms Neverfull was a loud mouth (too wide an opening and never shuts up), with a fat ass (what a giant cumbersome bottom!) and had tattoos (Graffiti inspired) that shouts across from miles away (She's rough!). But the most horrid thing is she has short arms (handles are very short and makes me feel like she is always only under my armpit!) and this disparity in height is never good in 'marriage'. You know what I mean. Being stiffer than her non-graffitied counterparts, she is difficult to handle, hard to the touch and not 'gentle' like a bag should be.
I am not deeply regretting this decision. Please get 'her' out of my life!
Yours sincerely,
Kevin (myMANybags)